“I” disease

I received a strange email today.  I liked it and didn’t like it at the same time!  Here it is, what do you think?

I like this email because it’s plain and simple.  No silly images to distract from the message.  However I don’t like this message because:

  • It’s “all about us”.  Look at the times it says “I, us, we, our” compared to you & your.  This is the email equivalent of shouting at someone from 6 inches away!
  • Variable size fonts.  I’m sure this is not deliberate, but look at the size of the font through the email.
  • Typos & language.  Didn’t read well – in fact I had to read it 3 times to understand it.
  • There was no fluency of message.  It does not take me, the reader on a journey from problem to solution so I’ve no idea what issue is being solved for me.

Anyway, hope you find this useful.  And if you want me to take a look over your emails before you send, just let me know – no charge!!

Comments

  1. I guess that they are hoping for you to give them some work. It looks like they’d like you to give them a list with thousands of dud records. They would then offer to update these records for a fee and delete some. They offer to demonstrate the power of their solution by looking at 25-50 of your problem records. Obviously, they will do a fantastic job with the 25-50 records that you give them. They will personally telephone the companies in the 25-50 records and squeeze the information out of the receptionist and co-workers. However, for your purchase order with a high upfront fee, they will plug in any name from their database and apologise for computer errors.

  2. great insight. Ubersuggest girl

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